Sunday evening services at our church are full of variety. The first Sunday night of each month we each take turns being responsible for a service. The second, we have music night..the church orchestra plays and every family has one song or reading to share. The third, we go to a local boarding home for the elderly. The fourth Sunday, our pastor shares whatever is on his heart. I love the variety of this schedule, until it's our turn to take a first Sunday night. :)
Last Sunday was my Sunday to share. I roped Matt into helping me with mine. He and I had been thinking a lot about the fact that we all have baggage and how often that baggage can hinder our lives. We talked pretty extensively on what kind of baggage we were handed down from our families and other shaping influences. That led us to think about what it is we are placing in our boy's bags and what influences we are allowing in their lives that might help or hinder them someday. I'll share with you a bit of what we shared with our church family. We'd love your thoughts on this idea.
We started out with a skit. On the platform was a table full of concrete landscape blocks. Each block had a positive or negative character trait on it. Things like selfishness, insecurity, moodiness, honesty, integrity, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. There were 4 adults on the platform with full backpacks on . These adults were in the process of picking up different blocks and placing them in the backpacks of their children. It only took about two blocks before some of the little ones were struggling under the load. Everyone exited except one teen girl who questioned her need of hauling such a heavy load. She struggled with guilt for wanting to remove the blocks given to her by her mother. In the end she kept the good blocks and with the thought of Hebrews 12:1("Let us lay aside every weight and sin which so easily ensnares us") she removed the bad blocks and exited. Below is the edited form of what Matt and I shared after the skit.
Julia:
We hope that this little skit helps to give you a mental image of what we all have had done to us and what some of us are currently doing to someone else. Whether we are willing to see it or not, everyone in this room has a back pack on…some people like to call it baggage. It would be nice if we could physically take the bag off and inspect what’s inside it. Unfortunately, the bag isn’t physical and the bricks that it contains are what has had a huge influence on the forming of our character, our individual personalities, and even our image of God.
Matt:
Not everything in our back packs is negative. We can all think of some wonderful traits/tools that our parents instilled in us. In my childhood, my Dad was very conscious of others. He still is ever watching to open doors or lend a hand. Julia has mentioned many times how grateful she is that he placed that brick in my bag. However, there is a history of male infidelity in my family. That brick was also placed in my bag and now it’s my responsibility to take it out.
Julia:
Going back to my roots is always an eye opening experience for me. When I am willing to see reality and examine my own heart to see the connection between my past, my bag and myself, then I can begin to really understand myself and why I do what I do. We are not suggesting for a moment to be unkindly critical. However, our own ability to grow beyond what comes “natural” for us is largely connected to our own willingness to be honest about where we come from and how that impacts us today. It really has nothing to do with where other individuals are, that’s just not the point. The point is when I see tendencies, attitudes and/or actions that contradict Christianity then I have to examine my heart and see if those same flaws are in my life. It’s just too easy to say in my mind, “Well, that’s just where I came from and who I am.” But my identity shouldn’t be being a member of any family or group, my identity should be that I am a daughter of Jesus Christ.
Matt:
There are three different categories we’d like to look at tonight.
First let’s talk about the positive things in our bags. These are traits like kindness, discipline, persistence, consistency, loyalty, and integrity. It’s not a bad idea to thank our parents for these kinds of gifts. Let’s face it, without their willingness to chisel away at our characters we’d be pretty obnoxious. In our home, we try to associate our family identity with these kinds of positive character traits. We will say to the boys, “Guys, we are Thomases and Thomases treat people with respect.” Passing on a heritage of godly character is what we are called to do. Each person in this room has a part in filling the back packs of the children in this church. The bricks in our bags are primarily placed their by our families, but I think we all have found bricks in our bags that were placed there by ideologies and people who had a lot of access to our lives. I think we will all live more carefully when we realize that our words and actions can be adding bricks to little people’s backpacks.
Julia:
Did you know there are probably some neutral things in your bag too? You’ll discover this about 10 minutes after you get married. The way your family did things like celebrate holidays or cooked the ham seems like the right way to you. After all, that’s how you grew up, isn’t that how everybody does it? Then you get married and you are living with another person, someone who has their own idea of how hams are to be cooked or Christmas is to be celebrated. The fact that Matt’s family celebrates Christmas with extended family and my family celebrates only with immediate family doesn’t mean either of our families were wrong. It simply means they were different. Now you can spend the next 50 years fussing over this fact, or you can appreciate the positive aspects of each family’s traditions and then decide together what is best for your new family. Just because your family does things in a certain way doesn’t make it right, wrong, or sacred…it just is.
Matt:
We can’t avoid talking about the negative things in our bags. Let’s face it, while it feels nice to focus on the positive bricks in our bags, we will do most of our growing by recognizing the negative bricks in our bags and then doing what is necessary, with God’s help, to remove them.
In Isaiah 56 and 57 we learn of a people who were filling their children’s bags with lots of negative bricks. Their leaders were sinful and they attempted to treat God as a gumball machine, putting their works of religion in and growing angry when the results they wanted didn’t come out. But in chapter 58 things begin to change. God offers them a new deal. IF they will choose to do what is right from a heart of trust in God and not out of legalism as they had been taught, God will change their future. Vs. 11 says, “The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.”
God offered them an opportunity to change their “fate”. To be a spring of refreshing water to the world around them. They didn’t have to continue to pass on the ungodly things from their bag. If they would choose to truly trust God and accept that what had been handed them was wrong, they could change the lives of generations to come. Vs. 12 says, “Those from among you shall build the old waste places; You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, The Restorer of streets to Dwell in.” Don’t we all want to be repairers of the breach? We don’t honor our parents by passing on a heritage of sensitivity, anger, control, bitterness, laziness or any other number of negative character issues.
Julia:
We all have different things in our bag. Generations of women in my family had babies out of wed-lock. My Mom pointed this out to me as a teen. She challenged me to be a “restorer”, to change the trend. I had to see that weakness in my bag and remove it…to change the future. Some of the things in our bags are not as blatantly sinful. But if I have attitudes and actions that are as natural to me as breathing, but that are unchristlike, then I have a choice at the moment I recognize it. Do I shrug it off and say, “Well, I’m an Imhoff, we tend to be…..”. Or do I be honest and say, “I am a Christian first and this is not how my Father behaves.” With God’s help, we can remove the bricks that pull us away from God.
Matt:
So the question is, What’s in your bag? Only you can know. Only you can be honest enough before God to see what is in your bag and remove with God’s help the weight that so easily besets you. We must remember this is a generational changing challenge. Being aware of what is in our bags will not only impact who we are and our relationship with Jesus, but it will impact our children and their children. And hopefully one day our children will look in their bags and see fewer negative bricks. It is my prayer that when my boys see bricks that I didn’t know to remove, they will be strong enough to choose Jesus’ ways over my ways. I also pray they will come to me and show me the brick so that I can remove the one in my bag as well.
Last Sunday was my Sunday to share. I roped Matt into helping me with mine. He and I had been thinking a lot about the fact that we all have baggage and how often that baggage can hinder our lives. We talked pretty extensively on what kind of baggage we were handed down from our families and other shaping influences. That led us to think about what it is we are placing in our boy's bags and what influences we are allowing in their lives that might help or hinder them someday. I'll share with you a bit of what we shared with our church family. We'd love your thoughts on this idea.
We started out with a skit. On the platform was a table full of concrete landscape blocks. Each block had a positive or negative character trait on it. Things like selfishness, insecurity, moodiness, honesty, integrity, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. There were 4 adults on the platform with full backpacks on . These adults were in the process of picking up different blocks and placing them in the backpacks of their children. It only took about two blocks before some of the little ones were struggling under the load. Everyone exited except one teen girl who questioned her need of hauling such a heavy load. She struggled with guilt for wanting to remove the blocks given to her by her mother. In the end she kept the good blocks and with the thought of Hebrews 12:1("Let us lay aside every weight and sin which so easily ensnares us") she removed the bad blocks and exited. Below is the edited form of what Matt and I shared after the skit.
Julia:
We hope that this little skit helps to give you a mental image of what we all have had done to us and what some of us are currently doing to someone else. Whether we are willing to see it or not, everyone in this room has a back pack on…some people like to call it baggage. It would be nice if we could physically take the bag off and inspect what’s inside it. Unfortunately, the bag isn’t physical and the bricks that it contains are what has had a huge influence on the forming of our character, our individual personalities, and even our image of God.
Matt:
Not everything in our back packs is negative. We can all think of some wonderful traits/tools that our parents instilled in us. In my childhood, my Dad was very conscious of others. He still is ever watching to open doors or lend a hand. Julia has mentioned many times how grateful she is that he placed that brick in my bag. However, there is a history of male infidelity in my family. That brick was also placed in my bag and now it’s my responsibility to take it out.
Julia:
Going back to my roots is always an eye opening experience for me. When I am willing to see reality and examine my own heart to see the connection between my past, my bag and myself, then I can begin to really understand myself and why I do what I do. We are not suggesting for a moment to be unkindly critical. However, our own ability to grow beyond what comes “natural” for us is largely connected to our own willingness to be honest about where we come from and how that impacts us today. It really has nothing to do with where other individuals are, that’s just not the point. The point is when I see tendencies, attitudes and/or actions that contradict Christianity then I have to examine my heart and see if those same flaws are in my life. It’s just too easy to say in my mind, “Well, that’s just where I came from and who I am.” But my identity shouldn’t be being a member of any family or group, my identity should be that I am a daughter of Jesus Christ.
Matt:
There are three different categories we’d like to look at tonight.
First let’s talk about the positive things in our bags. These are traits like kindness, discipline, persistence, consistency, loyalty, and integrity. It’s not a bad idea to thank our parents for these kinds of gifts. Let’s face it, without their willingness to chisel away at our characters we’d be pretty obnoxious. In our home, we try to associate our family identity with these kinds of positive character traits. We will say to the boys, “Guys, we are Thomases and Thomases treat people with respect.” Passing on a heritage of godly character is what we are called to do. Each person in this room has a part in filling the back packs of the children in this church. The bricks in our bags are primarily placed their by our families, but I think we all have found bricks in our bags that were placed there by ideologies and people who had a lot of access to our lives. I think we will all live more carefully when we realize that our words and actions can be adding bricks to little people’s backpacks.
Julia:
Did you know there are probably some neutral things in your bag too? You’ll discover this about 10 minutes after you get married. The way your family did things like celebrate holidays or cooked the ham seems like the right way to you. After all, that’s how you grew up, isn’t that how everybody does it? Then you get married and you are living with another person, someone who has their own idea of how hams are to be cooked or Christmas is to be celebrated. The fact that Matt’s family celebrates Christmas with extended family and my family celebrates only with immediate family doesn’t mean either of our families were wrong. It simply means they were different. Now you can spend the next 50 years fussing over this fact, or you can appreciate the positive aspects of each family’s traditions and then decide together what is best for your new family. Just because your family does things in a certain way doesn’t make it right, wrong, or sacred…it just is.
Matt:
We can’t avoid talking about the negative things in our bags. Let’s face it, while it feels nice to focus on the positive bricks in our bags, we will do most of our growing by recognizing the negative bricks in our bags and then doing what is necessary, with God’s help, to remove them.
In Isaiah 56 and 57 we learn of a people who were filling their children’s bags with lots of negative bricks. Their leaders were sinful and they attempted to treat God as a gumball machine, putting their works of religion in and growing angry when the results they wanted didn’t come out. But in chapter 58 things begin to change. God offers them a new deal. IF they will choose to do what is right from a heart of trust in God and not out of legalism as they had been taught, God will change their future. Vs. 11 says, “The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.”
God offered them an opportunity to change their “fate”. To be a spring of refreshing water to the world around them. They didn’t have to continue to pass on the ungodly things from their bag. If they would choose to truly trust God and accept that what had been handed them was wrong, they could change the lives of generations to come. Vs. 12 says, “Those from among you shall build the old waste places; You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, The Restorer of streets to Dwell in.” Don’t we all want to be repairers of the breach? We don’t honor our parents by passing on a heritage of sensitivity, anger, control, bitterness, laziness or any other number of negative character issues.
Julia:
We all have different things in our bag. Generations of women in my family had babies out of wed-lock. My Mom pointed this out to me as a teen. She challenged me to be a “restorer”, to change the trend. I had to see that weakness in my bag and remove it…to change the future. Some of the things in our bags are not as blatantly sinful. But if I have attitudes and actions that are as natural to me as breathing, but that are unchristlike, then I have a choice at the moment I recognize it. Do I shrug it off and say, “Well, I’m an Imhoff, we tend to be…..”. Or do I be honest and say, “I am a Christian first and this is not how my Father behaves.” With God’s help, we can remove the bricks that pull us away from God.
Matt:
So the question is, What’s in your bag? Only you can know. Only you can be honest enough before God to see what is in your bag and remove with God’s help the weight that so easily besets you. We must remember this is a generational changing challenge. Being aware of what is in our bags will not only impact who we are and our relationship with Jesus, but it will impact our children and their children. And hopefully one day our children will look in their bags and see fewer negative bricks. It is my prayer that when my boys see bricks that I didn’t know to remove, they will be strong enough to choose Jesus’ ways over my ways. I also pray they will come to me and show me the brick so that I can remove the one in my bag as well.
