Friday, November 14, 2008

Bailout Please, If You Don't Mind.

The Discovery
I've come to a brand new understanding and the prospects of it are so exciting. I will explain. As I was growing up my parents had times of financial comfort and many more times of financial hardship. I learned from them that if one spends more than they earn, life can get very uncomfortable. I learned that when times are lean you eat a lot of potato soup and turkey legs, you doctor yourself at home when you are sick, and you can keep warm gathered around a kerosene space heater. So in following my parents misguided example we have avoided the overuse of credit cards, we drive a paid-for-less-than-perfect car (yes, you read right I said car!), we have set a precedence with our children that a few gifts are a joy and a pile of gifts are overwhelming and excessive. We have unnecessarily lived under the bondage of responsible spending and careful living. What liberation we are finding in our new discovery!

The Plan
Matt and I have signed up for a new, higher limit credit card(maybe two). We are excited about the prospect of buying many many Christmas gifts for friends and family this year. We are currently shopping for a brand new SUV, even thinking about a Hummer, just cuz driving a Hummer would be SO cool! My wardrobe has really been pathetic since the boys were born so no more Walmart and thrift stores for me. It is only the finest department stores and boutiques from now on. After all you get what you pay for...or shall I say, I get what you pay for?

The Solution
The first place I planned on getting our I mean bailout from(for we surely will need one after implementing our new plan)was the federal government, but I quickly realized the chances were slim. The government just bailed out the banks and will probably soon be bailing out the auto industry. Then this morning I heard on the radio (don't worry, the big flat screen blue ray TV is on order) that several large US cities are requesting bailouts as well. I knew even the govenment may run out of bailouts before they got to us. That's where you come in. If each of my blog readers would send us just $100. per month we could maintain our new lifestyle. Really it isn't much of a sacrifice on your part to ensure our financial liberty. After all, how could we possibly wear $200. tennis shoes, drive a hummer and pay our mortgage without your help? So please keep those cards, letters, checks, and money orders coming this way. I can even set up a paypal account if that would be more convenient for you. Thanks in advance for helping us live the American Dream.