Resolutions and Revolution

Much like SJV, I get a subtle hint from my dear Mother when I don't post for awhile. I knew that phone call would soon be coming, but I've just had a hard time getting back to blogging. Well, the call came and so I will obey. :) It's not that I don't enjoy blogging, it's just hard to find time, but you all know all about that, don't you?

I've had a million thoughts running through my head lately, and will probably never take the time to hash them out in script. However, I do tend to reflect, as I'm sure most of us do, when a fresh new year presents itself. I think of what I'd like to improve and where I have been in the past. I, like Tara, don't bother with lofty resolutions. For 20 years I've been resolving to weigh 115 lbs and at almost 35 am finally realizing that it's just not going to happen. :) I will however post my not so lofty resolutions as accountability. 1. Get more organized. 2. Send Birthday cards on time, to all family members. (perhaps, I'll extend my card sending to close friends next year, but baby steps for this year.) That's it. I suppose I can handle that..... maybe.

While looking to the present and reflecting on the past. I've been thinking about what has really made the difference in my life. What few things can I look back at and say, "That really changed my life for the better." The obvious things like My trust in Jesus, Matt and our boys, my parents love, my friends influence, attending HSBA/C, and moving to Illinois come to my mind. I think I will reflect here on personal choices that have determined how influential I allowed those obvious things to be. I may post throughout the year some of the other life changing choices. Today I will reflect on one.

A very wise friend of mine once said, "You can be surrounded by the right answers, but if you're not asking the right questions, the answers don't do you any good."
One of the most powerful agents of change in my life was learning to question myself. I, like most females, found myself to be a very emotional being. If I felt something, it was real. My moods and emotions tended to dictate my attitude toward others and life. If I wanted to do something, I almost always asked, "why not?" and was pretty good at defending most any position I took by legalism. Then over time and through many influences I started to question my motives. Why am I feeling the way I do? Is the feeling legitimate? Was the comment from someone that hurt my feelings really intended to hurt me? Why would I think that it was? Why do I want to do whatever it is I'm wanting to do? I could go on and on with the questions. The point is I started to question my own motives for almost everything in my life. From why I was eating that 4th cookie to why I was feeling uncomfortable in the presence of someone. This change of perspective, was quite a revolution in my life. It makes me far less legalistic. A simple question of my motive for why I'm wanting to do something, usually makes the right choice pretty clear. It's changed my relationships. A simple question of my motives, usually aids me in trusting others and giving them the benefit of the doubt. It greatly effects how I parent. A simple question of my motives for why I am or am not disciplining a certain behavior and I find the courage or wisdom to do the right thing. The temptation to push my children for my own ego is squelched, when I ask myself why I'm pushing. It is presently helping me work on my impatience with my kiddos. When I ask myself why I'm so frustrated with them, it's usually because I'm being inconvenienced. (ouch!) It's changed my relationship with Jesus. If I question myself and my motives than I understand myself better. If I understand myself better I can begin to see myself as God sees me and it drives me to Him. It's not a quick fix all to be sure, honesty with oneself is not easy. And old habits are not easily broken. Neither do I want to promote a life of paranoia, I'm not constantly checking my pulse spiritually. Actually, it's the opposite. When I know that I am honestly trying to please God in every part of my life. It is a life of clear conscious and no doubt of my relationship with Him.

So in asking myself why I'm writing all this, the answer is that it reminds me to stay vigilant. If I don't I will find myself being carried down stream by opinions, my emotions, and whatever other wind may be blowing at the time. I also hope that it encourages you. Happy 2008!

Well, no post is complete without pictures for Nanny. So here goes.

My niece Karen and her new baby nephew Bradyn(he's my great-nephew too!). At Dad and Moms

My big bro Doug, Mom w/Bradyn, and Dad.

Making Gingerbread Men with Aunt Ginger at Nanny and Papa's house.

The annual "sleeping by the tree" at home. (Thanks for the tent Mrs. V!)

A Christmas Thank you hug!

Christmas Morning!

This last photo is a Siah Funny. I came out after reading Kayla's post about her boys playing with their Nativity set and came upon this scene.

I asked Josiah what Henry was doing at the manger. He told me that Henry wanted to go see Jesus, but a terrible storm blew up and damaged the tracks. Henry yelled, "baby Jesus say, 'peace'." Then baby Jesus said, (in Josiah's most convincing baby voice)"Peace". Then the tracks came back together and the storm stopped and Henry got to go all the way up to the manger to see Jesus.