Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Do I wake them? I know, if they went to "school" they would have been up and gone hours ago. I do this mind arguing often. Fighting the mind battle between what I grew up with and think of as "normal" and being the lead apologist for alternative education. I know the discipline of routine and schedule will have to be established, but when they are young don't they sleep because they need it? Then of course enter my flesh to compound the argument. It's kinda nice to be a homeschooling Mom and find yourself in a quiet house with devotions done, mile walked, and a quiet breakfast shared with hubby all before 9:25am. So I wonder...do I wake them? I will confess it is RARE that my boys sleep this late(and yes I checked to make sure they are breathing). So for now, I'm going to let the worry go and enjoy these few moments of quiet.
I've read/am reading two really great books lately that have been perspective changers for me(I love a book that does that). One is a parenting book by Matt Friedeman entitled Discipleship in the Home. This book is unlike any other parenting book I've read because it is so forward thinking. Most of the books I've read would fit into one of two categories. 1. Practical. The how-to kind of books. How to get your baby to sleep through the night. How to train your child to first time obedience. 2. Philosophical. The worldview kind of books. Why you want your child to obey the first time. Why it is important that your motive be right when you are disciplining. What are you thinking and how are you going to teach them to think. Every book I've ever read in either category has helped me to be a better mommy. I need both kinds. But "Discipleship in the Home" has helped me to be more goal oriented. Matt and I know what goals we are shooting for in general, but we've never really sat down and written those goals out. And not only written them out, but then written a plan to implement them. We are in the process of making our "Age 18 List" and it's been a good thought provoking task for us.

Probably the greatest help this book has been for us is in being more positive. I've always thought of myself as a glass half-full kind of gal, but not so when it has come to my kiddos. Because Matt and I are so serious about the task of training our boys(as we should be), we often fail to see the progress made. I so quickly hear and see attitudes and actions that fall short, but days of great attitudes and actions go by and I hardly notice, because that's how it is "supposed to be". Mind you this is wrong, I'm not condoning my actions here, I'm just being honest about my own "falling short". And so this book helped me to recognize that. And just as we address issues of wrong attitudes and actions in our boys, we are addressing them in ourselves. This book has helped me to see that I need to praise more. I need to notice the days of sweet obedience and kindness in play. I need to praise the hard work and good effort and ignore some mistakes. As I do, I see my boys open like flowers in the sunshine, basking in the warmth of our smiles. And so this book is one of my new favorites. As with any book I read, I don't agree with every jot and tittle, but overall this book has changed me and I love a book that helps me to conform into the image of my Abba.

I'll wait for another post to share how the book I am currently reading is changing me. My oldest is up and is reading his latest issue of Ranger Rick and he must share the fascinating facts about 'possums with his Mommy. Did you know a "Mommy possum actually eats snakes, insects, earthworms and slugs"? :)

13 comments:

lauralavon said...

Beautiful post, Jules. When I read, "I see my boys open like flowers in the sunshine, basking in the warmth of our smiles", it brought happy tears to my eyes. I know the joy of seeing our children respond this way as we walk in new light, new understanding. Abba's way is a beautiful way.
I loved learning about mommy possums! Please tell your boys they are going to have to teach me lots of things when they stay with us those few days soon!

Kimberly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimberly said...

i'd like to read that Friedeman book...it's not imperative that i do, but i plan to:) it's my (nonparent) observation that there is a plethora of parenting ideas out there, so it's probably good to find one that balances it all out wisely.

positive is good. You and Matt have such sweet spirits and (almost more that any technique) that is clearly being passed on to your sweet boys.
(and tell them that Miss Kimmy is a big advocate for sleepin in!!:)

Liz said...

How many times I correct my little people and God says, "And what about their mama??" I really want to read that book...

Tara said...

I put that book on my list as soon as I got home from FL. Told Derek about it too. Really looking forward to it. Apparently there are videos too? Have you seen them?

Great post, my friend. Glad you got to have a restful morning.

Oh, and I'm "staunchly" (!) in the never-wake-a-sleeping-child camp. :)

Making Memories 1999 said...

Great post, friend! And I've just recently started doing some of the "waking-them-up-before-they-wake-up" because if I didn't... well, do we have to say what time it would be? LOL

We just recently got that book and DVD. Steve is already reading it and I plan to soon. I need more work in the "positive comment" department as well! Look forward to learning good things! Thanks for sharing about the book.

Julia said...

Thanks girls, I always love getting your feedback.

Liz, I've heard those words ringing in my head MANY times...that is why I can honestly say parenting has taught me more about myself and drawn me closer to Jesus than anything ever has.

Tara, Becca kinda answered your question. Yes, there is a DVD that goes with the book. We haven't watched it yet, as we are planning on that being the next video we use for our parenting class.

PhilipBrown said...

Great Book! The only problem was after we made our "at 18" list it looked overwhelming. Goodness...there's a lot to get accomplished in a little amount of time! But when I realized that most of the work is done on a daily basis it was more "do-able". I agree with the positiveness. My children too often hear more correction than praise....sighhhhh. Blessings on you as your raise your little men for Him.

PhilipBrown said...

Oh, just realized that I'm on Philip's computer and I'm writing under his account :o)

sarahmfry said...

So glad to find your good post this morning - I've been missing your thoughts.

Matt Friedeman was one of David's Seminary professors when we lived in Mississippi. When I was expecting Karissa, we sat in his class together and our parenting was forever shaped and molded and focused. I'm enjoying his book - which comes directly from that class!

And God has been whispering to me, too, about not squashing their hearts with negativity. My oldest has seemed sensitive lately, and even yesterday during our practice I realized that when I focus on the negative, her spirit shrivels just a little.

But when I hug her after a good job, she literally drinks it in. Oh, for the ability to balance that every moment, every day of mommying!

I'm also noticing it's not a bad idea for a marriage, too. : )

blessings,
Sarah

The Dickinsons said...

Very good post! I too liked what you said about your boys opening like flowers when you complement them.
If I'm correct, the author of that book was a teacher of my Dad's when he got his masters at Wesley Biblical Sem. in Jackson, Mississippi. =)
Have a super day in Jesus!

Julia said...

Oh my Maryanne you could have a lot of fun making comments and then letting Phil take the "fall". :) Seriously, I can identify with being a little overwhelmed by the list. Like you though, we've chosen to let it become a reminder to be intentional with our boys every day.
Sarah and Heather, I so enjoy hearing from you ladies and learning from reading your blogs.

The Dickinsons said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog. I'm not a strong coffee drinker...I much prefer more milk and sugar than coffee...but I do love to have a cup of
"cafe' con leche". (Coffee with milk.=)
Have a super weekend!